so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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