I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Randomize
