he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize