I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
How does it feel to date your dad?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
