Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
