I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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