Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
