I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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