I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
