Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize