i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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