CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
