Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
