Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
