and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
