I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
you never un-have a 4some
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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