my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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