just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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