Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize