Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
