you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Actions speak louder than pants.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
