He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
