so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
