Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i dont even know how to be here
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
