i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm just crazy horny about you
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
