billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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