i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
