I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Even my vagina gasped.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
