I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
