i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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