i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
