it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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