how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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