you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize