I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize