Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
