I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
