I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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