I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
