dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
