dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
