I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
