who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
