Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
