Just mADE A PArabola og urine
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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