Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
