i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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