I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
