google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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