I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
