"it" just moved
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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