so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize