i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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