why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Randomize
