I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
