im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
