Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
