You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
