hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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