Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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