Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
