I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
