Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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