so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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